Maryam

Maryam

By Najlaa Eltom

Translated by Maysoon Elnigoumi

I recall- unwrapping this gift of death-

I recall that you are my gift

I recall your hands:

Gripping bliss with callous fingers

The bliss of mine birds: dense dull demure

Propped in a train,

 I eternally carve in them

a dream incarnating in a dream

til at last, I was blessed with your embrace.

And now my love...God’s gift

All festivities have come to an end

All nobility

All audacity

Holding in my hands, keys abandoned by their doors

I unlock dreariness

Your guards queue up the tower raising lunar plaques

Dimming, shimmering, dimming, shimmering

Here you are my beloved-enthroned

Your voice in the garden blaspheming:

For once, cease this pursuit

It was not I you were promised in the dream

Behold your face

Is this the face of a prophetess?

do I resemble a decaying miracle?

Your mistresses are needlessly moaning

I am not their augury

I never was a son to you

Maryam

Here I lay

In the terror that shook you from your dream

entrapped in your copper phial

I am that vile flower

Maryam gather your dates

And with your naked foot

Pass over the body, him you have slaughtered

Pass over Maryam

Passover

Pass over your people down the valley

Pass over the river to the woods, cleft the sun’s labyrinth in twain

two mirrors

And when you have gained your conquer

Gaze deep into them

Where resurrection despairs of the dead

And eternity is consumed

Maryam Maryam Maryam

Stranded at the gates of abandonment

Where none is called upon

Where names are burned out in numbered caves

And the body is soaked in motherhood

I, swarthy deaf, amnesic

Beseech you ,mother

Reap me from the trenches

Gather your child body

From the flower of the cross

Wrap it with bushes, drape it in plagues

Reap me from oblivion

I am your infatuated arrogance sobbing penitently in the streets

A glorious regal frog

Marred in the girl’s gasp , forgotten

Here you stand before me

I fail to shield you from myself

Here you stand before me

Anguished barefooted spoiled

Entangling in the winds, sphere trodden

Sister, does your song know no end?

Maryam

Lend me your ear

Cease your prayers

For a moment

Spread your palms so my heart may drink

Ravage the garden

Burn the palace

Scorn the braids of marble

And cling to shadows

Maryam?

Maryam

My heart and thine are moon and sun

And you are now setting

If only

If only

You are moved to flee

Afore my moons rise and my stars simmer

But here you stand before me

And I fail to shield you from me

I your beloved frog

Tyrannical

I am, what accumulates upon testimony, and am testimony to ingratitude

quench my thirst,

Prophetess

Rain on all ends so I may rise and baptise

So I may survive every wound

So I may sacrifice all my souls to your eclipses

Maryam

My heart instilled in your heart is akin

A moon instilled in a moon

you pour now

my stars quiver now

Now your frailness strides and your swarthiness speaks

Every drop of you on me

Is my life on you

Reap me from death

Maryam

And fade

For the crowds of your blood conjure the not forgotten

Mother!